She envies the gaunt look of other girls, with their jutting out hips and collar bones! It was disturbing, but it was also incredibly realistic.īecause Stevie is so angry and hateful, she’s incredibly judgmental towards the other girls in therapy. Not having dealt with an eating disorder myself, the way Stevie begrudged every ounce of fat and avoided every calorie was rather confronting. She hates the world, hates other girls, hates her situation and herself. This girl is mentally ill, and it really shows from her innermost thoughts and feelings. The pursuit of unhappiness.”īeing forced into rehab to cope with her eating disorder, Stevie is hard, angry and unreceptive to her treatment. “Every person should be able to choose her own particular brand of suffering. This book holds no bounds and does not gloss over anything. Every sentence is heavy and difficult to read, a harsh look at the deeper recesses of mental illness and it’s triggers.

Paperweight would be incredibly difficult for anyone who’s ever experienced any of the above. Grief, physical and emotional abuse, suicide, depression, toxic friendships, negative body image, drinking and family neglect, it’s all here. I picked this up, knowing it was about a girl suffering from an eating disorder, but little did I know, the multiple triggers the book would cover. In this emotionally haunting and beautifully written young adult debut, Meg Haston delves into the devastating impact of trauma and loss, while posing the question: Why are some consumed by their illness while others embark on a path toward recovery?ĭeep, heavy and depressing, Paperweight certainly packed a punch when it came to the feels.

And if Stevie gets her way, there are only twenty-seven days until she too will end her life. There are only twenty-seven days until the anniversary of her brother Josh’s death-the death she caused. But what no one knows is that Stevie doesn't plan to stay that long. Her dad has signed her up for sixty days of treatment.

Nurses and therapists watch Stevie at mealtime, accompany her to the bathroom, and challenge her to eat the foods she’s worked so hard to avoid. Life in the center is regimented and intrusive, a nightmare come true. And now in an eating-disorder treatment center on the dusty outskirts of the New Mexico desert. Published by Hot Key Books on July 2, 2015

Paperweight by meg haston